Nina and I went to check out Juliano’s Raw recently. Now, I have never been a big fan of raw foods, but wanted to try it based on the recommendation of a few people. Nina is probably as hardcore a foodie as you’re going to get, so she was pretty excited to check it out.

We started out with some Kale Chips…described on the menu as “Oniony Green cotton candy”. Sounded great to me…unfortunately what arrived was a green, sort of gelatinous leafy substance that was probably one of the more unappetizing looking things I had ever seen. And that was the the high point. One taste, and I had discovered one of the most horrifying tastes to ever pass through my lips. Now, like I said, I am not the biggest fan of raw foods, so I delayed any reaction until Nina had her taste. When I saw the mile-wide grimace and unnaturally distorted eyebrows (a highly rare occurance for anything I’ve ever seen her eat), I knew she agreed. We passed the dish off to the couple sitting next to us, who was monitoring our reactions since we had gotten into a conversation and let them know it was our first time.

For the main entree, i went with the Bacon Western Double burger: Mushroom nut burger w/ macadamia cheese on a sprouted buckwheat bun w/ pickles, tomato, onion, guacamole, heirloom ketchup, mustard & French fries. Sounded pretty tasty….but I’m wary at this point. Again, disappointment at what arrived on the plate: a small meatball sized blob of a burger which didn’t look anything like what was on the menu, on top of some assorted strewn veggies. One bite of the “burger” and I had had enough.

Nina went with the Tom Gyi (Spicy coconut cream in a brew of lemongrass, lime leaf, galangal, mango, chives, mushrooms, chopped almonds.) and the Blood drink. I’ve seen Nina eat things like balut, instestine, and various other things that scared me, but she also found it impossible to finish her meal.

There were a lot fo words floating around my mind at this point…ridiculous, overpriced, pretentious were a few. Tiny, tiny portions for an over-inflated price for food we couldn’t stand. We couldn’t wait for our waitress to bring our check and get out. As soon as we stepped one foot outside the door, we both shot each other a look, and took of running for the car, headed for some real food. While we were discussing our expereince, Nina came out with the line to sum it all up:

“I’d rather live happy than die miserable”.